the staircase of glow he doesn't really hear me i respond with love he responds with question, the debate he's not hearing what i am, who i am in total i tell him i love him despite the changes he tells me it wasn't a change but a shift so why are you looking at the change and not the fact i just told you i loved you you shut me off what is flowing and reaching out to you but you say you understand everything already that you can't repeat what you already know that it's boring, boring to your all knowing self but where is the knowing to acknowledge to fall in to stop and realize what someone is trying to give to feel it all which is probably a lot its like 2 magnets attracting of when the same sign, but when they are opposites they mesh i am trying to be myself, the opposite i don't really know what i'm trying but i feel you taking the love away from me the love of myself and this is what i need to find with space will it return?
a snowflake fell then. a rain drop falls now. how many moments passed? from when i made the decision with the falling of the snowflakes in the corner of the tea house, to when i lay on the bed next to her and the falling rain. how many moments passed? from when i peed my pants (for real) on the cement sidewalk, to when i pee on the leads and grass covering the mountains. how many moments passed? from when i fell asleep in the foggy cafe window, to when i forget to sleep because of bliss given by the touch of a brother. decisions connecting, decisions guiding. and who i am to know where they lead, who am i to know how the web is woven. who am i. to know. who i am. i am who, and i am how. i am how the currents flow, i am how the stories are told, i am how the cells remember. simply, i am. in me, the moments passed are comprised. i hold memories of replicated scenarios, on different lands. of replicated learning, in different bodies. for this, i live. for this, i am.
munich, germany // july 2020
we, the seeds of the sun them, the distant ones she, the silent one begins her day with a cup dirt drops on the window piling up and to her nose ah, dawn the ancient reverie a moment between i wake up at noon the dawn of noon it is here where i will begin again the dance of me the commotion of feet bring me to places thrilling as the green skeleton of the tree on your side, the sea to your front we shed our layers grasping like lovers for the air we cannot see splitting atoms splitting hearts
munich, germany + sharon, vermont // may 2020
conscious transformation burden to gift effort to nourishment shame to honor innate wisdom waits cycling every month in a process of gestation and birth mirroring the universal pattern showing the ultimate truth for you to be when the love permeates the cells of your own infinite being ___ movement in stillness the waters within your womb hold you in safety ___ seeds of creation of flowers of the womb to bloom is a choice receiving the energy coming from infinity and back to infinity creation is eternal it is timeless fueled by the space where nothing lies forget your ideas and receive the power of eternity
munich, germany // may 2020
different fish share the same water each sharp flip pulling water back to push water forward 2 same fish chase one leads, the other leads who starts (not clear) distracted by the rock again who starts (not clear) chasing seeking their twin in their chase missing colorful fish horned fish gently floating seaweed in their chase 2 same fish don't see me in my chair seeing the glass box holding a universe seeing the game from outside i know how to play always seeking the identity always chasing the reflection recognize reflection as illusion a game with no winner
munich, germany // april 2020
what is it about him? what is it about me? “Ich erinnere mich sich selbst.” A part of me feels like he is everything, the one. A part of me feels like he will never understand. So I seek, myself, to find the answer. I seek What I fear? Who I am. What does this mean, I? How I block and ignore? How I hide, how I shine? How I love? Giving and receiving. I enter an experiment with others. An inaugural gathering to my inauguration. I give myself permission, to rest, to retreat by choice. To see my strength, through the love. I glow.
sintra, portugal // august 2019
- 1 / I am for the art that grooves through the stillness.
- 2 / I am for the art that hears the silence within the groove.
- 3 / I am for the art that cherishes the silence within the groove. Embodies, senses, transmits.
- 4 / I am for the art that reflects like a box covered with 100 diamond shaped mirrors.
- 5 / I am for the art that says hello to the self that has forgotten to open its eyes.
- 6 / I am for the art that is the before, the during, the after, in one breath. That is the breath.
- 7 / I am for the art that confronts that which lays dormant.
- 8 / I am for the art is the earth, the fire, the water, the air.
- 9 / I am for the art that gives space to each particle. The space each particle deserves.
- 10 / I am for the art that has a forever home and knows it.
- 11 / I am for the art that pushes your blood to your heart, pulls your tears from your eyes.
- 12 / I am for the art that spreads. As quickly as dispersing milk through a morning coffee, as slow as dripping honey from a tiny spoon.
- 13 / I am for the art that burns as hot as the tip of the cigarette meeting the flame, that silently swirls as the smoke after.
- 14 / I am for the art that attaches shamelessly to the sweaty bodies making love in the lost ashes. That is the love that is made.
- 15 / I am for the art that floats above the clouds with its attention on roots below the trees.
- 16 / I am for the art that hears the whimper and provides the embrace.
- 17 / I am for the art that becomes the sun through being a ray.
- 18 / I am for the art that realizes the moment it awakes.
- 19 / I am for the art that realizes the infinity it inhabits.
- 20 / I am for the art that realizes the harmony it perpetuates.
- 21 / I am for the art that is an oasis of time.
[inspired by Claes Oldenburg]
thick the blanket lays low on the mountains heavy layers of flags, blowing. a tree passes by grey and warm a family stands black + pink individual + total sensuality in the darkness the expression that is everything flowing through my body for the first time the excitement of the child i feel it again, i remember.
we meet again. pink skies and the icy wind electric points and the silent abyss. when do these points of opposition meet? light reflects off her waters, when will it meet the light of mine? space stands between, but i am you, and you i. i sit on your banks strands of green hope growing between us strands connecting borders of perception. when i perceive you, i perceive me. we are one.
out of the bright sun i write, my desires crash against the edges of the beach wishes float above i am caught by that which i believe, and held by that which i let go. with the light of the sun, reflecting off the split moon i find my way in the dark. setting intentions adding to the light till the light is full, suspended in the dark and intentions blossom spreading seed, offering nectar.