the staircase of glow
he doesn't really hear me
i respond with love
he responds with question, the debate
he's not hearing what i am, who i am in total
i tell him i love him despite the changes
he tells me it wasn't a change but a shift
so
why are you looking at the change
and not the fact i just told you i loved you
you shut me off
what is flowing and reaching out to you
but you say you understand everything already
that you can't repeat what you already know
that it's boring, boring to your all knowing self
but where is the knowing to acknowledge
to fall in
to stop and realize what someone is trying to give
to feel it all
which is probably a lot
its like 2 magnets attracting
of when the same sign, but when they are opposites
they mesh
i am trying to be myself, the opposite
i don't really know what i'm trying
but i feel you taking the love away from me
the love of myself
and this is what i need to find
with space will it return?
a snowflake fell then. a rain drop falls now.
how many moments passed? from when i made the decision with the falling of the snowflakes in the corner of the tea house, to when i lay on the bed next to her and the falling rain.
how many moments passed? from when i peed my pants (for real) on the cement sidewalk, to when i pee on the leads and grass covering the mountains.
how many moments passed? from when i fell asleep in the foggy cafe window, to when i forget to sleep because of bliss given by the touch of a brother.
decisions connecting, decisions guiding. and who i am to know where they lead, who am i to know how the web is woven. who am i.
to know.
who i am.
i am who, and i am how. i am how the currents flow, i am how the stories are told, i am how the cells remember. simply, i am.
in me, the moments passed are comprised. i hold memories of replicated scenarios, on different lands. of replicated learning, in different bodies.
for this, i live.
for this,
i am.
we, the seeds of the sun
them, the distant ones
she, the silent one
begins her day with a cup
dirt drops on the window
piling up and to
her nose
ah, dawn
the ancient reverie
a moment between
i wake up at noon
the dawn of noon
it is here where i will begin again
the dance of me
the commotion of feet
bring me to places thrilling as the green skeleton of
the tree on your side, the sea to your front
we shed our layers grasping like
lovers
for the air we cannot see
splitting atoms
splitting hearts
conscious transformation
burden to gift
effort to nourishment
shame to honor
innate wisdom waits
cycling every month
in a process of gestation and birth
mirroring
the universal pattern
showing
the ultimate truth
for you
to be
when the love
permeates
the cells
of your own infinite being
___
movement in stillness
the waters within your womb
hold you in safety
___
seeds
of creation
of flowers
of the womb
to bloom
is a choice
receiving
the energy coming from
infinity
and back
to infinity
creation is eternal
it is timeless
fueled by the space where nothing lies
forget your ideas
and receive
the power of eternity
different fish
share
the same water
each sharp flip
pulling water back
to push water forward
2 same fish
chase
one leads, the other leads
who starts (not clear)
distracted by the rock
again
who starts (not clear)
chasing
seeking their twin
in their chase
missing colorful fish
horned fish
gently floating seaweed
in their chase
2 same fish
don't see
me in my chair
seeing the glass box
holding a universe
seeing the game
from outside
i know how to play
always seeking the identity
always chasing the reflection
recognize
reflection
as illusion
a game
with no winner
what is it about him?
what is it about me?
“Ich erinnere mich sich selbst.”
A part of me feels like he is everything, the one.
A part of me feels like he will never understand.
So I seek, myself, to find the answer.
I seek
What I fear?
Who I am. What does this mean, I?
How I block and ignore?
How I hide, how I shine?
How I love? Giving and receiving.
I enter an experiment with others.
An inaugural gathering to my inauguration.
I give myself permission, to rest, to retreat by choice.
To see my strength, through the love.
I glow.
thick
the blanket lays low
on the mountains
heavy
layers of flags, blowing.
a tree passes by
grey and warm
a family stands
black + pink
individual + total
sensuality in the darkness
the expression that is everything
flowing through my body
for the first time
the excitement of the child
i feel it again,
i remember.
ZURICH
we meet again.
pink skies and the icy wind
electric points and the silent abyss.
when do these points of opposition meet? light reflects off her waters,
when will it meet
the light of mine?
space stands between,
but i am you,
and you i.
i sit on your banks
strands of green hope
growing between us
strands connecting borders of perception.
when i perceive you,
i perceive me.
we are one.
TEL AVIV
out of the bright sun
i write, my
desires crash against the edges of the beach
wishes float above
i am caught by that which i believe,
and held by that which i let go.
with the light of the sun, reflecting off the split moon
i find my way in the dark.
setting intentions
adding to the light
till the light is full, suspended in the dark and intentions blossom
spreading seed,
offering nectar.
portugal // august 2019 – zurich, switzerland // october 2019 – tel aviv // january 2020
