i’ll bathe in your blood, it will heal me

SoulArt Klerks
this morning
i saw my blood mixed with water
hours let red melt to pink
soft
strong
death visiting life
carried by water

between shrinking guts
and expanding knowing
deep breaths guide my limbs
porcelain touches
on freshly awoken body
pores in their state of black holes
slowly my light
comes out

hand, glass, blood
hand above head
my blood meets soil
that i cannot see
feeds tiny beings
that i do not know

but i say, hello
hello with my death
reverence
to support this life
of green webs of spiraling strength
circling overhead
as i sleep

webs of life and death
swirl mysteries
down into the fibers
of my blankets
of my skin

my blood continues 
to fall
my death continues
to bring life
and our hearts continue
to weave
munich, germany // december 2020

seeds of my now

the staircase of glow
he doesn't really hear me

i respond with love
he responds with question, the debate
he's not hearing what i am, who i am in total
i tell him i love him despite the changes
he tells me it wasn't a change but a shift
so 
why are you looking at the change
and not the fact i just told you i loved you
you shut me off
what is flowing and reaching out to you
but you say you understand everything already
that you can't repeat what you already know
that it's boring, boring to your all knowing self
but where is the knowing to acknowledge
to fall in
to stop and realize what someone is trying to give
to feel it all
which is probably a lot
its like 2 magnets attracting
of when the same sign, but when they are opposites
they mesh
i am trying to be myself, the opposite
i don't really know what i'm trying
but i feel you taking the love away from me
the love of myself

and this is what i need to find
with space will it return?
Hirō Isono
august 2018

red is the color of change

rip, Steven DaLuz
stepping into stillness
that only ends can bring
tricking
their end
to reveal space in all moments

still in my observation
of the dance
around and inside
the white abyss 
of crystalizing waters
whispers above

leaves become fire
as water leaves their veins
fire flows from the base of me
drop my drop
offering compulsory transition
into mysteries

red is the color of change
munich, germany // october 2020

for this

Moses, Frida Kahlo
a snowflake fell then.  a rain drop falls now.  
how many moments passed?  from when i made the decision with the falling of the snowflakes in the corner of the tea house, to when i lay on the bed next to her and the falling rain.
how many moments passed?  from when i peed my pants (for real) on the cement sidewalk, to when i pee on the leads and grass covering the mountains.
how many moments passed?  from when i fell asleep in the foggy cafe window, to when i forget to sleep because of bliss given by the touch of a brother.
decisions connecting, decisions guiding.  and who i am to know where they lead, who am i to know how the web is woven.  who am i.
to know.
who i am.
i am who, and i am how.  i am how the currents flow, i am how the stories are told, i am how the cells remember.  simply, i am.
in me, the moments passed are comprised.  i hold memories of replicated scenarios, on different lands.  of replicated learning, in different bodies.
for this, i live.
for this,
i am.
munich, germany // july 2020

the journey

The Messenger (detail), Gil Bruvel
dearest deep sea diver,
how is your swim?
i hope the water is warm
holding you softly
while you float 
in depths
alongside
horned beings
stars
and whales
singing their ancient songs

in their voices
i hear your pulse
they sing your song
of resonant knowing
found in hearts
like yours

move my blood from far
heart songs
reflect and harmonize
in order to flow
spread to
rivers, streams
the mouths of others
coating
in resonant trust
in floating faith
harmony
munich, germany // june 2020

clara and i

Clara Henderson
we, the seeds of the sun
them, the distant ones
she, the silent one

begins her day with a cup
dirt drops on the window
piling up and to 
her nose

ah, dawn
the ancient reverie
a moment between

i wake up at noon
the dawn of noon
it is here where i will begin again

the dance of me
the commotion of feet
bring me to places thrilling as the green skeleton of
the tree on your side, the sea to your front

we shed our layers grasping like 
lovers
for the air we cannot see
splitting atoms
splitting hearts
munich, germany + sharon, vermont // may 2020

home

Moon Bloom, Vanja Vukelić
conscious transformation
burden to gift
effort to nourishment
shame to honor
innate wisdom waits
cycling every month
in a process of gestation and birth
mirroring
the universal pattern
showing
the ultimate truth
for you
to be
when the love
permeates
the cells
of your own infinite being

___

movement in stillness
the waters within your womb
hold you in safety

___

seeds
of creation
of flowers
of the womb
to bloom
is a choice
receiving
the energy coming from
infinity
and back 
to infinity
creation is eternal
it is timeless
fueled by the space where nothing lies
forget your ideas
and receive
the power of eternity
munich, germany // may 2020

the fish tank

We Float Alone-Daughters of Summer, Sara Ann Long
different fish
share
the same water
each sharp flip
pulling water back
to push water forward

2 same fish
chase
one leads, the other leads
who starts (not clear)
distracted by the rock
again
who starts (not clear)
chasing
seeking their twin

in their chase
missing colorful fish
horned fish
gently floating seaweed

in their chase
2 same fish
don't see

me in my chair
seeing the glass box
holding a universe
seeing the game
from outside

i know how to play

always seeking the identity
always chasing the reflection
recognize
reflection
as illusion
a game
with no winner
munich, germany // april 2020

a primal preparation

what is it about him?
what is it about me?

“Ich erinnere mich sich selbst.”
A part of me feels like he is everything, the one.
A part of me feels like he will never understand.

So I seek, myself, to find the answer.

I seek
What I fear?
Who I am. What does this mean, I?
How I block and ignore?
How I hide, how I shine?
How I love? Giving and receiving. 

I enter an experiment with others.
An inaugural gathering to my inauguration.
  
I give myself permission, to rest, to retreat by choice.
To see my strength, through the love.
I glow.
sintra, portugal // august 2019